Thoughts after 1 a.m.

I'm sitting here. Again. I'm listening to Swedish local radio, "Radio Jönköping". It's funny. Danielle, my dear wife, is gone to El Salvador for a trip with work and I'm back to my "old habits" in terms of sleep. I'm up at night, enjoying the quietness of the night. I guess quietness is a stretch, I do live pretty close to the city centre after all. Someone I like the thought of that most other people are sleeping, somehow it gives me more space to think. No interruptions, no phone calls, no sudden noises.

I just got back a few hours ago from a wonderful supper at my family's here in Canada. Grandma was there, it was wonderful to get away from the apartment for a little while and enjoy some company. My brother in law and myself went to a bar to watch the end of a hockey game. I don't go to bars very often, drunk people in general and women in particular really turns me off. There are few things less attractive then a person who needs to drink to calm their insecurity. (I know this is not the reason that everyone drinks and I don't think it's wrong to have a beer or two for dinner or leisure.) I wonder what people who work at bars, where their bodies are commodities and the shorter the skirt and tighter the shirt the more stares and the more tip you get, think about men and about themselves. It's got to be quite an empty feeling when you get home, to know that what people care about is just a body, an object. Sure, I'm sure this could be appealing for a little while, but I doubt for too long.

I was also just listening to something on the Swedish radio about feminism. Sweden is very extreme when it comes to feminism. A woman was talking about how the only reason women would have a desire to decorate, cook and bake for someone is expected roles, nothing else. She suggested that the men should decorate and that the women should be Santa. It makes me sad. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind doing the dishes, doing laundry and cleaning the house. I think that women should be paid the same salary as a man if they do the same job and so on. What makes me sad is that I believe that God has created man and woman to compliment each other and we're over and over again trying to deny this. I think that God created man and woman different. I think that we're missing out if we're trying to deny or suppress this. I think that the core attitude of this kind of feminism is "me, me, me" and I think that heart attitude saddens our Maker. I could go much deeper into this, but I think that I will leave this subject at this for now.

I have to admit that I miss the feminine part of our household right now, it's not the same here without Danielle. I'm glad she's got this chance to go away and enjoy what Christ has planned for her on this trip. At the same time I sure will be delighted when she comes back again and I get to see her face to face again. I'm looking forward to hear all the stories, all the feelings, all the excitement.

I've had the chance these last few days to reflect a lot. Reflect on how I ended up here and now. To reflect upon how things would've been different if I'd made different choices in life. I've had the chance to reflect on how gracious God's been in leading me to where I am today. I'm thankful for His protection, His guidance and His timing. Without Him I truly would've been miserable. His plans are amazing. Looking back at different things and event in my life I can't but see that He's been there all along, despite my mistake and bad choices every now and then. I'm sure I'll get back to this subject. Basically, I'm content. Content with being married to the woman He designed for me. Thankful to have a job where I daily get to share who He is. Thankful for a wonderful family, both here and in Sweden, who supports me and loves me just the way I am. Thankful for what lies ahead. For the plans He has. I can't wait to see them unfold. The more I think about this the more excited I get. It's so wonderful to know that there is a plan, regardless of how we feel about ourselves or our circumstances there is a plan, there is Hope, their is Life. Christ is here. And now. Don't miss him!