Thoughts after 1 a.m.

I'm sitting here. Again. I'm listening to Swedish local radio, "Radio Jönköping". It's funny. Danielle, my dear wife, is gone to El Salvador for a trip with work and I'm back to my "old habits" in terms of sleep. I'm up at night, enjoying the quietness of the night. I guess quietness is a stretch, I do live pretty close to the city centre after all. Someone I like the thought of that most other people are sleeping, somehow it gives me more space to think. No interruptions, no phone calls, no sudden noises.

I just got back a few hours ago from a wonderful supper at my family's here in Canada. Grandma was there, it was wonderful to get away from the apartment for a little while and enjoy some company. My brother in law and myself went to a bar to watch the end of a hockey game. I don't go to bars very often, drunk people in general and women in particular really turns me off. There are few things less attractive then a person who needs to drink to calm their insecurity. (I know this is not the reason that everyone drinks and I don't think it's wrong to have a beer or two for dinner or leisure.) I wonder what people who work at bars, where their bodies are commodities and the shorter the skirt and tighter the shirt the more stares and the more tip you get, think about men and about themselves. It's got to be quite an empty feeling when you get home, to know that what people care about is just a body, an object. Sure, I'm sure this could be appealing for a little while, but I doubt for too long.

I was also just listening to something on the Swedish radio about feminism. Sweden is very extreme when it comes to feminism. A woman was talking about how the only reason women would have a desire to decorate, cook and bake for someone is expected roles, nothing else. She suggested that the men should decorate and that the women should be Santa. It makes me sad. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind doing the dishes, doing laundry and cleaning the house. I think that women should be paid the same salary as a man if they do the same job and so on. What makes me sad is that I believe that God has created man and woman to compliment each other and we're over and over again trying to deny this. I think that God created man and woman different. I think that we're missing out if we're trying to deny or suppress this. I think that the core attitude of this kind of feminism is "me, me, me" and I think that heart attitude saddens our Maker. I could go much deeper into this, but I think that I will leave this subject at this for now.

I have to admit that I miss the feminine part of our household right now, it's not the same here without Danielle. I'm glad she's got this chance to go away and enjoy what Christ has planned for her on this trip. At the same time I sure will be delighted when she comes back again and I get to see her face to face again. I'm looking forward to hear all the stories, all the feelings, all the excitement.

I've had the chance these last few days to reflect a lot. Reflect on how I ended up here and now. To reflect upon how things would've been different if I'd made different choices in life. I've had the chance to reflect on how gracious God's been in leading me to where I am today. I'm thankful for His protection, His guidance and His timing. Without Him I truly would've been miserable. His plans are amazing. Looking back at different things and event in my life I can't but see that He's been there all along, despite my mistake and bad choices every now and then. I'm sure I'll get back to this subject. Basically, I'm content. Content with being married to the woman He designed for me. Thankful to have a job where I daily get to share who He is. Thankful for a wonderful family, both here and in Sweden, who supports me and loves me just the way I am. Thankful for what lies ahead. For the plans He has. I can't wait to see them unfold. The more I think about this the more excited I get. It's so wonderful to know that there is a plan, regardless of how we feel about ourselves or our circumstances there is a plan, there is Hope, their is Life. Christ is here. And now. Don't miss him!

Lucia & Christmas

I'm sitting here in our apartment on December 13. It's a sunny day in Calgary, the last bit of snow is slowly melting away. I'm watching Swedish web tv. Today is a traditional day in Sweden. It's Lucia. For those of you who don't know what Lucia is I'll briefly explain. Lucia is a day which is celebrated at every school, every church, every workplace in Sweden. It stems back from Italy and the 3rd century. Tradition says that there was a young women who decided that she would never get married but dedicate her life to God entirely. However as she emerged into a beautiful young lady her mother promised her away to a man. This made the young lady, named Lucia, very sad. She started praying to God that He would save her from getting married and somehow change her mother's mind. Shortly after Lucia's mother got sick. Lucia got a revelation from God on how to heal her. God used Lucia to heal her mother which led her mother to promise her that she wouldn't have to get married. This did, however, not go over as well with the bridegroom who'd fallen in love with the beautiful Lucia's eyes. According to tradition, this led Lucia to rip out her eyes and send them to the bridegroom. The bridegroom then went to the emperor who decided to have Lucia arrested and tortured. She was later sentenced to death and died as a martyr.

Back in the day in Sweden it was thought that this was the longest and darkest night of the year. To hunt away the demons people would dress in white and carry a candle in their hand, Lucia wearing a crown with candles in it on her head. They would get up early in the morning, while it was still dark and walk and sing. Nowadays it's most common that kids dress up for this and have a "Lucia train". They sing and read poems. This is a greatly appreciated tradition in Sweden. Like I said, pretty much every work place and school in Sweden have some kind of Lucia celebration, often with school or kindergarten classes doing it.

Lucia and Christmas is something that makes me miss Sweden. I love going to the Christmas market in Myresjö (my home village), go to a 16th century church to listen to Christmas music, go out and skate on a quiet frozen lake, enjoy all the Christmas baking my mother does, go to church when it's decorate for Christmas and where time is given for reflection.

Christmas has always been a time of reflection for me. Time off school or off work. Typically in Sweden everyone's off from Dec. 23 - Jan. 2. There's a lot of time to spend with family, a lot of time to go for walks or for a car ride, to sit down and listen to each other, to value one another.

Christmas is clearly a time of giving. A time to celebrate the greatest gift of all time, God the Father's gift of his only Son, Jesus Christ to mankind. A gift to a hurting and needing humanity. A gift of forgiveness, a gift of escape from guilt and shame. A gift of new Life. A gift of Hope. A git of true peace. A gift of the truest and deepest kind of Love.
Let us all this Christmas make the choice of living in the Life we've been given by our Maker. The life of Christ. The life of giving. Let us focus not on how much we can get this Christmas but rather how we can give to others. How we help create positive memories for others who know Christmas as a holiday of hurt and abuse. Let us all take the time this time of the year to reflect on what, or rather WHO Christmas is all about...Christ. Christ and Christ alone. Let's follow His example and lay our life down for others starting today.

Speaking of life, I also want to take the opportunity to congratulate my sister Therese and her husband Jakob to the latest addition to their family, Sigge (pictured).